Talking to a Brick Wall

Oct 8 2012 5:46PM

The agony of not being able to make progress in securing schooling and social care proior to relocating to the UK.

I wonder at the system. I am completely unsure about what lies ahead. Despite trying to plan a move back to the UK in communication with the local education authority and social services to minimise the disruption a move like this causes, I find myself in conflict with a brick wall.

It is not possible for me to live full time with Db it is enough just coping with his week-end visits. I am never alone with Db and haven’t been for some three years. It is simply not safe for me to do so. I never know what will set him off. If we do not spend too much time together and I avoid any confrontation with him this minimises the risk that he will become annoyed and attack me. I do know that this is not the solution but it keeps us all safe while waiting to secure the support that he so clearly needs.

So we are now less than four weeks before arriving and have no school or care provision for Db.

We are in a catch 22. No progress will be made on a school or care for Db until we are actually back in the UK. I cannot move back to the UK until school and care arrangements are in place for Db.

The only option is that Dh and Db come ahead and I simply have to live elsewhere until something is sorted out. I have no idea how long this will take.

We are currently visiting the UK and have offered to meet with Social Services – their response is that it is not necessary. I am really surprised especially as they will now not get the opportunity to meet me, only Dh.

I guess I cannot force them to meet me and simply have to accept that if I do not return with Dh and Db I will not be part of a process that assesses Db’s needs.

It certainly makes it easy to feel like I am unimportant and have nothing to offer despite having dedicated myself to doing my best for Db for the last thirteen years!

I have had enough of living in fear; I have had enough of shouting for help, I have lost all hope of securing the support that we need to survive as a family. I will continue to support Dh and Db as much as I can, but from a remote standpoint. I have no idea what the future holds.

Stressful – you bet!

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Comments

hugs. what an awfully distressing scenario. gx

galapgaos - Oct 14 2012