Impossible questions

I am so very tired, I have done my best to parent Db but have reached an important crossroads. Living with Db means living with the constant threat of violence. I do not consider this to be acceptable and in the absence of being able to get the right treatment for Db it feels like time to throw in the towel, and move on.

What does that really mean? How can I consider abandoning ship – Db is simply damaged, so his behaviour, while unacceptable, is not his fault. Deep down we love each other, we are just in an unhealthy relationship, stuck and drifting along. What are we waiting for?

Will anybody else care about Db as much as we do? What will become of him if we feel we can no longer provide for him? What can we do that we haven't already done to try and salvage something and rebuild our broken family or do we simply have to face the painful truth that we are unrepairable?

Impossible questions, and there seem to be no answers readily available. My head spins until it is worn out.