A close time opportunity
I find it hard to have a close time with my kids, apart from bedtime stories. Life is busy, the kids generally want to be doing big things, and, to be honest, I'm not very good at that sort of thing. Tickling and roughing them up is fine: close, intimate play isn't something I'm terribly comfortable with or know how to initiate. But I've realised that it happens in the back of the car. On long journeys (and, man, does this cut across everything in our culture!) I have been sitting in the middle row of our people carrier so that I can more easily calm disputes, pass round snacks, etc. It is really hard to not be the one at the wheel and even harder to give up your rightful position in the front. Really hard! Anyway, I have normally been plugging myself in to an MP3 player, reading books and ignoring the kids as much as possible. I've seen the journey as something to be endured and simply the means to the end of getting somewhere, rather than an opportunity. But this time we had some of those magic boards that you draw on and then rub out. It was really good being able to interact with the kids, drawing awful pictures and having them try to guess - and vice versa. I'm not sure whose drawing is worse: mine of theirs! The evening trip home was even better. Close physical contact with my son with attachment disorder is sporadic. Having him tired and going to sleep next to me was a wonderful opportunity. I could put my hand on him, support his head when he'd dropped off, kiss him without having it rubbed off... I felt really close to him in a way that I don't think that I have before, and I'm really sure that something happened with him as well. It could not have happened like that at home, because he would not have accepted me putting him to bed while Mum was around. Hopefully next time we are going on a long journey I'll remember this and plan activities do to with them.